A farewell to childhood: Annika Kilkenny on her EP ‘Look Mom I Made It’.

Annika joins us for a chat from her hometown in Kilkenny, Ireland. She’s having a chill weekend consisting of Bridgerton Series 3, her bed, and multiple cups of tea - after returning home from London and bearing through a 10-hour delay to her flight. We’re talking to her about her EP ‘Look Mom I Made It’, a stunning collection of six songs which she released in early May. Whilst still studying at Uni, she writes from a place far beyond her years. We wanted to find out how the songs came to be, and figure out the space in her mind and heart in which they live.

Amy:

Hey Annika! Can you give me a brief introduction to this EP and how it came about?

Annika:

I think the EP is a sort of farewell to childhood for me. At the time when I was writing these songs, I’d just started Uni back in 2022, and I was entering a whole new stage of my life which was daunting, scary - and I feel like I was holding onto my childhood a bit too close to my chest. Which is like, you know, fine. I think we should all hold our childhoods close, but I think I needed to let go a little bit. So the EP helped in loosening the reins a bit, and being ok with stepping into this new era or new stage. It acted like a reflection really, on that time and it just came to be.

Amy:

Yeah, well it’s such a big step leaving home and going to Uni for the first time. Which Uni did you move to, was it in Ireland?

Annika:

Yeah in Ireland, but it’s the opposite end of the country for me. It’s like two trains to get back.

Amy: 

Still, it’s so hard, I went to Uni really far from my family and where I grew up, and having that separation from your family for the first time is huge.

Annika: 

It’s so bad, so bad!

Amy:

So are you still at uni now then? Are you still studying?

Annika:

Yeah I’m still studying. It’s tough ‘cus I have to balance school, music, I have a part-time job as well, so it's draining emotionally but you know.

Amy: 

Especially with your songs. They’re gorgeous, and when I first listened what drew me in was just your intonation, the lyrics and how everything is so delicate but yet so intricate. How do you find it telling such - it’s so poetic, there’s such a story in so few lines. When you’re writing, do you find it easy to be that poetic? Or does it take you some time to figure out how you want to phrase things?

Annika:

I think with Tiktok, cus’ that’s where I started posting ideas for songs, and at the beginning TikTok was this short-form content app. So I wasn’t writing for Tiktok, but it was just a habit I got into that I would only write two verses and a chorus. So everything that I wanted to say I was like okay, we’ve got to jam pack this in. And so that kind of yeah, I think that’s part of the reason why there's so much information in a short space. But also the way I write, I find if you have an idea - so like for Look Mom I Made It - the line that inspired this song I was just like ‘Look Mom I Made It’. Obviously the song is about overcoming everything that you wanted to overcome, or obstacles in your life, so I was like ‘how are we gonna fit the narrative of your childhood into these lines?’. I found working backwards helped a lot. ‘Look Mom I Made It’ - what would come before this? Piecing the songs together, but from the end to the beginning.

Amy:

That’s such an interesting technique to get you to the end result and that final line, and effectively to what became the title of the EP too.

Annika:

It just stuck with me. I was like okay that has to be it - you can’t have a song called ‘Look Mom I Made It’ and not call the EP ‘Look Mom I Made It’.

Amy: 

No definitely! And that was going to be one of my questions as well. How did you come to that decision to title the EP? I guess it was kind of obvious to you then when you got that line? This is kind of what encompasses the whole EP as well in terms of all the themes.

Annika:

For sure, yeah. I think my Mam is my rock… she's just like, oh my gosh she’s my best friend. All the songs obviously touch on different aspects of growing up, and the different obstacles that come with growing up but like that lyric applies to all of those songs. Like ‘Hey Mam I made it through this, or through this’.

Amy:

I love that, and it’s also holding yourself accountable to realise you can get through all those moments. Like you said, you went to Uni and you can do it. It’s just the reflection that comes with that. It mean, it’s great, it means you’re writing all these incredible songs!

Annika:

Haha, thank you.

Amy:

As for themes, this EP is about childhood and leaving home, everything that comes with that. So many different emotions. But are there any other themes that particularly inspire you? Or is there any topic that when you go to write a song, you think comes the easiest?

Annika:

I think recently I've been writing a lot about letting go, like of friendships. Understanding that some friendships are momentary and to just let that be, and be ok with that, you know? So acceptance I guess would be what I’ve been writing a lot about. Both self-acceptance and acceptance of your reality. That’s been something I’ve touched a lot on recently in the newer EP. That’s why I was over in London, I was writing the second EP.

Amy:

That’s so exciting! I feel like they’re all themes that everyone in their twenties goes through. Leaving school and leaving those friendships behind, exploring new ones at Uni that can also be so confusing and funny. I don’t know about you but I had to choose who I wanted to live with really quickly in first year. It felt like - I don’t know if these people are going to be my friends? Turns out some of them aren’t now, but some I have stayed close to as well. It’s a weird time learning ‘oh, I have to be the one to figure out who my people are’.

Annika:

It’s so interesting. I feel like I think you learn a lot about yourself through the process too, because with new beginnings it’s so easy to mold yourself into something that you’re not. 

Amy:

Totally yes, trying to fit into this mold of what you think is socially acceptable.

Annika:

Yeah, going into a new beginning being like ‘oh I could change myself, I could reset?’. But you ultimately just get that internal conflict.

Amy:

I’m super interested in how you record. It sounds like it was all one take. Do you ever vocal comp or are you mainly recording straight and how long does that process take you? I was listening to a Billie Eilish interview about her recording 100 takes for each track, is that something you follow?

Annika:

For LMIMI we did takes fully through and we did the comp takes and we kind of decided which we liked, which we didn’t like. I’m actually not sure. I think most of them are comped vocally, but there might be one or two... I had to send vocals from home as well through email which is super tedious. I think it got to a point where we were like, maybe for some of the songs it’s just a bit - maybe they don’t need to be perfect? Maybe we can just put the one take in. I can’t give you a title, I can’t remember which one… I think it was the Middle that we let be, but I think most of them are vocally comped.

Amy:

That’s so interesting, and like I said they all feel as if you’re in the room with you whilst you recorded performing the song. I think that’s part of the beauty of them as a collection, they just sound like you’re performing to the individual which is so lovely.

Annika:

That was the goal.

Amy:

Well you smashed it. Why did you want to start writing music, who were your biggest inspirations, sometimes a boring question, but I’m genuinely keen to know?

Annika:

No, I love this! I think… I’ve always loved music. I started writing instrumental music before I wrote lyrical music because I love instruments - piano is one of my loves, and I found that whenever anything good or bad, or scary or exciting happened in my life, I’d take to my piano and just play? I don’t know. That’s been a long term thing, but lyrically I only started when I was 16. That just came down to me not being confident to put lyrics to music. You finally get to that age where it’s kind of like ‘well do I actually care what people think when they hear this?’, so 16 was kind of the turning point. 

Amy:

Yeah sure, cus’ it's a totally different thing right? To actually put yourself out there?

Annika:

Yeah the reason I started writing and posting - it was a stress reliever from school. I was sitting my Leaving Cert, which is the A level equivalent, and I was so not with it. I was like ‘this is ridiculous, I should not be this stressed!’.

Amy:

It’s the worst time, I still have stress dreams about exams.

Annika:

Literally PTSD. I was like - how can I combat that? So I created a TikTok account and started posting.

Amy:

Was there ever any thought about who would see it? Were you ever worried about that or did you just feel like you needed to do this for yourself?

Annika:

I think both were playing in my head. I think for the most part I was like, it was nearing the end of secondary school so I thought, I will never see these people again. I don’t think I would have had that mindset the year prior. So I think when I did it was a good time to do it. I didn't block anyone - I’ve heard people, if you’re gonna start posting on social media, block the people you don’t want to see…

Amy:

That’s so fair, haha! Sooo tell me, what are the next steps? You’re writing this new EP, is there anyone you’d love to collaborate with? Are you working with anyone at the minute or is it a solo project?

Annika: 

Yeah I am working with a new producer and I’ve worked with a songwriter on this EP just to tweak bits of lyrics and what-not. That’s been super interesting. It’s the first time I’ve ever co written with someone. To collab with someone is definitely on the bucket list I think. I love Olivia Dean, she’s so cool. Just even in the way she performs live, she’s so graceful. She’s the coolest ever - unreal. But I think most of my inspirations are my friends? My friend Marie, she’s incredible. I found her Tiktok last year through a mutual friend, and she's inspired so much of how I write now, it’s crazy. So I think I’d like to meet my friends, as we’re all dispersed throughout the world. That's the goal for the upcoming year.

Amy:

Yeah and I feel like there's such a nice community of up and coming singers on Tiktok and social media at the minute. It’s all so friendly and supportive. You had your gig with Ashlie Skye this week, how did that go? 

Annika:

So well! Oh my gosh. I met her once before and so this was the second time, and then our friend Ella came as well to play. And it was just really wholesome. Usually before a gig I’m so nervous, but having them there was such a different thing. I had no nerves. Like you were saying, the environment we’re all growing in as artists is so supportive.

Amy:

I wonder if that differs from how that was maybe even 10 years ago? In terms of you’re all not battling, not competing with each other. You all have your own lanes but also collectively come together to help promote each other and inspire each other?

Annika:

That’s such a good point actually. This is so random but I was watching pop culture drama videos on Youtube of the Aguilera and Eminem beef, like 10 years ago. I just thought it was really interesting. Like you were saying, they’re not in the same genre? Why is there drama there? Yeah, I like it better this way.

Amy:

Definitely - there's always room for art, there's always room for different inspiration and varying takes from people. It’s different thoughts right? You’re getting your thoughts into a song and everyone’s got a different perspective, and then when you come together it’s even better. I’m so sad I couldn’t make the gig, I was stuck at work!

Annika:

For sure! And that’s ok, but if you’re ever in Hackney, Next Door Records is so cool…

Amy:

Noted. I would love to know are you going to be doing any more live shows soon?

Annika:

Yes! I have one in London in June on the 18th at Folklore Hoxton… I’ll send you the details.

Amy:

Thanks so much Annika, it’s been so nice to meet you and chat to you. I hope home is lovely. I’m gonna do the same and take it easy today…

Annika:

Good on you.

Annika will be performing at Folklore, Hoxton on Tuesday 18th June alongside Dominic Wright and Seth Gauton for Do It Without You.